The admin got off his lazy ass and updated the "News" section - March 10, 2009
After a record setting 3 years and a month (more or less) of complete laziness, the
Pixelthugs® admin decided to update this page!
Pixelthugs® president, Tone Parsons, said "It's about damn time" and "you're fired,
you lazy ass turd nugget!"
The admin wanted you to know that the lack up updates weren't because he doesn't love
you, but rather because he was busy doing something else for the past 3 years. He gave
a clue as to what "something else' means by stating that it rhymes with "online porn".
Pixelthugs migrates to a new server - February 18, 2006
In a bold stroke of pure genius, the Pixelthugs team moves from it's home base to a NOC in
"No longer do we have to deal with those damn Brazilian script kiddies" said company founder,
Tone Parsons. "Now we can place our focus on where it belongs... killing those smacktards
With the move to the new network, now all the bandwidth at the old site is available for
gaming, and that makes the company, and it's employees, very damn happy indeed.
Pixelthugs is back online! - December 27, 2005
With amazing speed and the grace of a water buffalo in heat, the Pixelthugs team managed
to bring it's web hosting service back online after a serious problem.
Tone Parsons, founder and president of Pixelthugs, said "We're glad to be back at it". He then
turned to face south and presented the country of Brazil a salute with both middle fingers held
high in the air.
Pixelthugs founder, Tone Parsons, buys own name as .com - October 10, 2005
In a move that has stunned many in the web comumity, Pixelthugs founder Tone Parsons has purchased the domain
His son, Skylar, called it "An absolutely brilliant move". Seven, the cat of many toes called it "Narcissism at
it's finest", then she hacked up a hairball the size of a Buick.
Pixelthugs Announces Purchase of Cisco Systems - August 9, 2005
Tone Parsons, president of Pixelthugs, announced today that Pixelthugs Networks has will be placing an offer
to purchase failing giant, Cisco Systems (NYSE - CSCO).
"The time has come to merge both of our companies and rule the world with an iron fist" said Parsons as he
addressed the company. "I feel that our offer of free webspace and $20 will be accepted and will
pass through the FCC with ease" he added.
Such a merger would bolster up the failing Cisco Systems, which has a current net value of $1.24.
Pixelthugs Updates Website! - March 5, 2004
In a bold move today, the webmaster updated the Pixlethugs website.
Of course, this is the only page that the webmaster updated, and he only added this entry.
Bravo, webmaster... bravo!
David Platt, Director of Marketing and Strategic Strategy, hailed the move as positive proof that Pixelthugs
is now leveraged to take over the world. He further demanded that all women between the ages of 18 and 35 report to
his office immediately... naked.
The smell of hot guacamole and baby oil now permiates the hallways of the Pixlethugs office.
Pixelthugs Celebrates Stability - August 8, 2003
For the 3rd straight day in a row, the Pixelthugs network has been online without disruption of service.
"We've taken quite a beating over this" said veteran Network Engineer Mike. "But we've finally determined
the problem and have implemented a solution"
With the implementation of some duct tape and a large note that says "DO NOT UNPLUG" on the power strip, it
is hoped that this unheard of stability should remain through at least next week.
Bio Wears His Ass for a Hat - August 2, 2003
In a grueling match of Battlefield 1942 against the tyrant [MEDUSA] clan, Bio was shown that he is in no way
"all that and a bag of chips too". Due to the desperate needs of this enterprise, the servers were down for aproximately
4 hours. "Fuck 'em" said Bio when refering to the network outage.